As promised in the blog beforehand, I present to you the mixed bag of times I've had ranging from the adventorous to the downright most dirty.
Be sure to read this from bottom to top, past through to present.
May-July
Blog re-released
Production of 3d Uni Film
April
University Admin ring FE and interviews over phone to write up article on him in Uni paper
FE moves his bed finally from loungeroom back into newly painted bedroom. Woot!
FE falls seriously sick and nearly collapses from sleep deprivation and overloading of daily schedule
Last week of film shoots for "The Extra" FE meets comedic idols Colin Lane and Shaun Micallef New friends are made and extreme close-ups are shot of him
Dress up as cross between Anna Kournikova and a hooker to friend's 20th Murder Mystery Night Complete with shaven legs, g-string, bra, heels and wig. Receives award for best dressed and ends up running around pool naked. View at viewer's discretion.
FE shops for women's clothes and lingerie
2nd film shoot on Jimeoin's film "The Extra" at Melb Arts Centre. FE falls madly in love with Livinia Nixon and makes new friends. FE chosen as main extra
FE accidentally says "f word" in front of local Church chronies at Midnight Easter Mass only to say "Oh I didn't see you there! Happy Easter!"
Blog template re-written with help from TI-O-M
March
The Written Word Two template is reviewed
FE wears T-shirt of naked girl to Church outing to view "Passion Of The Christ"
SEXY widescreen, high definition, Dolby Surround, 86CM digital TV and DVD\VCR player purchased. TV viewing increases greatly
FE slapped, punched, tickled, balls kicked, harassed by girls at Gembrook party with bogans. Funny people with funny teeth
Sexy Canon MP370 Printer\Coper\Scanner purchased
First day of shooting on Jimeoin's new feature film - "The Extra"
FE's father becomes redundant
FE begins directing a short animated film at university about penguins in Antarctica
FE gets over depression and break up and gets with two girls over following weekend
Meet up with Ex to clear things
Februrary
Relationship break up next night proceeding with chronic depression for 3 days
FE looses wallet on first day of filming. Movie tickets from '97-present day are forever lost
Cast members begin dropping out of film "Mortal Sin"
Near miss car accident with truck and car
Worry about No. 77 starting new life at University
Add sexual frustration on top of that
Depression sets in
Lack of motivation sets in
Boredom sets in. Relationship woes increase. Everything begins going to the pack
Valentine's Day - No.77 treated to La Porchetta, teddy bear, poem and card. Nothing in return
First "talk" about relationship. Everything "sorted out" but it inevitably continues down hill
Again, be cautious of schoolkids walking home from school if having sex in public
Janurary
Relationships begins to creep down hill subtlely
Many games of night tennis played by all at No.77's house
TI-O-M and FE help Agent with DJ Gig at Bhangra 21st Party. Big success
FE snorts steam as Nokia 6610 goes for a dunk at No.77's swimming pool in his shorts. Crisis over upon dry re-assemblage only to receive a message about a forthcoming DJ gig of HEM
As No.77 gains entry into Uni, FE and Co. venture to "haunted house" and gain inspiration for a new film titled "Mortal Sin"
No. 77 runs over FE's foot with V8 Commodore (no connection to aforementioned night)
No.77 and FE have their first rough night of emotions and tears due to personal events leaked out by an open drunken FE about the relationship to family and friends
Drive-Ins for the first time - simply brilliant
Last year's TV commercial receives a High Distinction
FE falls ill from food poisoning with no thanks to a small bite from No.77's Chicken Teriyaki BP Roll
FE insists you be cautious of kids spying on you and your partner during public love-making rituals
December
Jagermeister (Yay-Ga-Mister) regarded as cough medicine in disguise
"The Tom Green Show" also regarded as very funny television
No.77's mother confronts her and partner about their clandestine "Schoolies" week and sex lives
New Year's celebrated at San Remo beachhouse with girlfriend No.77, family and friends. No.77 confesses love for FE and vice versa at the first break of dawn for the new year. Best New Year's to date
Stationwagon conks out in middle of Warrigal Rd. FE has to push the wagon off the busy road containing 2 80-something year olds up onto a traffic island in 36 degree heat
FE discovers that love-making in sand dunes isn't as bad as what some might say
Romantic oils make FE high during love-making, giggles ruin the mood
Trip back home through storms complete with psychotic African woman chanting
FE gets inside tour of Fox Studios with inside worker and witnesses various film sets
Many contacts and acquaintances made at massive Film/Animation Festival
FE and father fly to Sydney and stay at Manley to attend Film Festival at Darling Harbour
November
"Whose Line Is It Anyway?" regarded as the funniest television
Semi-circumference performed by FE around Phillip Island on shitty bike. Nearly skids off a cliff
No. 77 invites FE down to her beach house at San Remo. Only male amongst 8 females. (much pleasant, gratuitous sex, drinking, cigars, smoking, swimming, hiking and general Schoolies behavior)
FE nearly caught by bible-bashing Church biddies while buying condoms at local supermarket
TI-O-M and FE enjoy becoming airborne in Ogie's car going 100+ kmh over Cranbourne railway crossing. Becomes nightly tradition
Dawsons Creek style pier sitting\beer-guzzling at Frankston Pier with Ogie and another friend sets summer holidays off until TV commercial editor rings FE requesting him to come back to Uni to edit. Ugh!
Nov 21st - FE begins dating No. 77. Hoorah!
Red Carpet TV interview at Awards Night hosted by Wilbur Wilde. Free grog and students falling down stairs to accept awards
Nov 19th - rat-tailed hair and beard shaven off professionally for Awards Night
FE has two consecutive days without sleep to finish commercial - mad rush
Drunk\sleepy\semi-conscious businessman on Oakes Day train goes to sleep on seats and falls off to break nose and splashes blood everywhere around train carraige
Drunken boyfriend ramming his head up girlfriend's arse witnessed at Spencer St Station by many 9am-5pm workers.
Big "LAN Party\Sleepover" at friend's to model and animate TV commercial
Hair tied back due to length.
Plane tickets booked for Sydney
October
Production of TVC in full swing.
Email is received from lecturer warning about acquiring certain games and other things at university. Admin not happy.
FE turns 20 on 6th October.
Pre 20th Birthday drinks with friends - a girl "No. 77" is met and a good time is had on couch. Spring had sprung (and so did the couch that night).
September
Singledom still thoroughly enjoyed!
Hair has grown long.
Deliberate driving up wrong side of busy residential road towards road crest to turn down a nearby street. HEM and TIS-O-M shit themselves.
Introduced to Nando's by Agent FareEvader
University class takes brief interest in love\life debacles earlier documented in this blog. They also learn what a blog is.
FE's Dad tells cop all about how much he had to drink upon being pulled over.
Work on University's Awards Ceremony at Forum Theatre - designing posters and programmes.
August
Singledom being enjoyed like never before
Grandma pays debt of $600 *!!*
Proposed job at old school to teach Yr 9 students the basics of animation. But job offer utimately falls in on itself due to school's disorganisation. And aforementioned priest cracking the shits with disliking of blog author
Odd dream about having sex with Beyonce Knowles in a mudpit in someone's backyard bbq
Last ever "Buffy" episode.
FE topping various modules at University. "Eckle" cartoon receives warm reception from critics and peers at University. High distinctions received.
Train fine for feet on seats added to repertoire of train fines
Mate and fellow blogger AFE has 15 seconds of fame on ABC's "Stateline" for colleague's tram stint.
July
"Eckle", animated film begins it's production.
"The New Era Begins" - top notch new computers at Uni and a new project is undertaken - TVC (Television Commercial)
June 22 - trip to Morwell to break it all off. "Bitch" was at movies instead. Many non-answered calls and SMS-ing. "Bitch" tells FE to meet her at shopping centre, he waits for 4 hours, nothing. Letter is slotted into wiredoor at home. First ever phonecall from her is received at train station, it's announced that letter is at police station due to name-calling and comment "you are a selfish bitch for doing all of this". FE shits himself on way home as he is told to beware of psychotic drug-taking brother of hers. Yay! Singledom!
Ogie and FE compare notes on similar shite relationships
Everything in life speeds down hill at astronomical rate. Girlfriend regarded as a "bitch" and contemplation is given to breaking up
Serious deep financial shit. (train fines, $600 bills, etc)
Family issues once again, FE storms out and goes to mates house
FE dubbed "astroboy" amongst peers due to black hair
Pakenham Storm Chaser website discovered. Great spectacle
Delta Goodrem diagnosed with cancer
FE invests in a new Nokia 6610 Colour Phone with camera attachment. Woot!
Yet more mind games from girlfriend via SMS - apologising for causing hurt, missing presence, and that generally everything is ok
Metaphorical\Nostalgic roadtrip to Frankston to gather thoughts and clear mind. The birthplace of blog's author
Whore of a girlfriend leaves FE waiting in the wintry cold for a coach that doesn't exist for two hours
Time out again with another mate. FE begins to recognise comedic element in "Freddy Got Fingered" and finds it a hilarious film
FE draws up huge poster to cheer up girlfriend who gets shitty about it
Time out with AFE. Enjoyable tequila Sunrise at Elephant and the Wheelbarrow. Woke to SMS from girlfriend saying "I'm dropping your stuff off at your house and talking to your Mother." And that there was going to be big trouble for FE as he was somewhere where he shouldnt be but wasn't
FE's girlfriend claims his house is "umcomfy and too posh" according to this slag from Morwell Whorewell. No "girlfriend-stays-at-house-for-the-first-time" action
June
...and the last post made for The Written Word
Friends of author regard his relationship emotional rollercoaster ride more dramatic and entertaining then daily TV soap operas
FE on verge of breakdown as everything plummets down hill. "When it rains, it pours"
Relationship woes are increased with thanks to current girlfriend's ex who wants her to have his kids due to cancer scare
Sex in a public pool is an naughty thing, especially in front of partner's mother
Hair is dyed black by current girlfriend - "how black can black be?"
Amused by the discovery of Contact Juggling
Local priest harasses FE to "glenuflect" as soon as he enters Church. Priest claims he is "sick" of him.
He received his upteenth train fine. Adds to list of other train fines
He helps his current girlfriend and family move house. (What a shit)
FE learns how important foreplay is before sex
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